


I Waited for You

by orphan_account



Series: Wait. [2]
Category: Death Note, DeathNote, dn
Genre: Death, I don't know how to tag., Jealous!Near, Jealousy, M/M, but I do, i kinda don't regret it, lots and lots of jealousy, lots of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 04:55:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11775945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A continuation of my last story.





	I Waited for You

I know I told him I could wait, but I've done it long enough. I've counted days, hours, minutes, seconds. I've watched his every move. I know his daily routine. I know how they wake up every morning, get a cup of coffee and head off to work. I know they both get back at five thirty sharp before going out again for dinner. Every night it's the same diner no more than a five minute drive away from their small, shared apartment.  
I know how Mello always gets a salad to make himself feel less guilty about what he always orders. I know he always gets a chocolate milkshake to drink with his meal. I know even though it's been five years, the bond between him and his husband has been stronger than anything else.  
I know every Saturday Mello drags his husband out of the house to spend a couple hours at the gym. I know Mello gets out earlier than what someone would assume from the time he gets home. I know if he's ever late it's because he got caught up at the gym.   
I know that more than once they've taken an overly long lunch break just for them to see each other and have blowjobs before it's back to business as usual.   
I know how Matt has a job with a tech support company and is also paid to hack into different things for big corporations.   
I know that Mello is a manager at a local firearms shop.   
I've watched them through every fight, through every love making session, through every night on the couch and every decision. I watched as Mello begged Matt to take extra hours at the Garage he used to work out when he was still in college so they could move away as soon as possible. I listened as Matt gave in to Mello's every whim. I observed Mello on every lonely night he had while Matt worked far beyond closing time to make enough money to fulfill "his" Mello's wishes. I hid myself every morning as I watched Matt getting up at the crack of dawn so he could get to his classes on time after they did move.   
I was there when Mello held his mothers hand during every visit to the hospital. I was there to watch as Mello put his pride aside and sobbed when her heart monitor went flat.   
I watched through the window as Mello screamed that Matt was never there for him when he really needed him, and when Matt shouted about how he was only working to do what Mello asked of him. I watched as the fight ended with Mello crying into he shorter man's shoulder, ending my hopes of their relationship's demise happening that night.   
I listened as Matt apologized for not being there and as Mello forgave him and apologized for making him work so hard.  
I watched as they shared their passions and displayed their love that night. As Matt held Mello close when they were done. I listened the best I could as Matt whispered sweet words of encouragement and kindness into his lover's ear.   
I felt anger boiling inside me as I watched them bounce back after every fight, as it would always end with them pressed against each other, panting softly into each other's ear, whispering their apologies so quietly I almost missed them from my hiding place.  
I watched as the brunette groaned and grumbled in an almost playful way each time he was dragged out of the apartment for physical work.  
I watched as the blond complained about Matt's gaming habit whenever he came home with a new disc in hand and was convinced into joining.  
Everyday they smiled at each other. Everyday, they spoke to each other, using gentle voices and kind words. Everyday they stayed mostly playful and hardly ever let their differences get in the way of their love. They were the picture of a perfect couple. They planned a future, they planned on having kids, they planned of one day getting out of the city and having a nice house with a front yard and a cat. I forced myself to listen to every painful word. I refrained from making Mello mine. I waited for the perfect moment.   
Finally it came.  
It was a late Saturday night, Matt and Mello had just stumbled back into their apartment, clinging to each other and laughing. I could smell the alcohol on their breath from the hiding place I made of the closet in their room.  
I listened to the creaking of bed springs as they collapsed, giggling and groaning into their messy, slobbery kiss. I watched through the slats as they broke apart only to strip each other of their shirts before attaching themselves again.  
Matt's hand pressed into Mello's chest, a gesture I was all too familiar with. Mello allowed him to break away from his lips and place his own to Mello's neck instead. I could hear Mello's breath quicken at the sensation of Matt sucking lightly on his neck, marking him as his own.  
I watched Matt's hand wandering down, slowly making its way to the waistband of Mello's leather pants. Slowly, too slowly for Mello's taste, he started undoing the fastenings. As soon as Mello's slim, smooth legs were visible, I felt myself start to harden. Despite the fact that it was someone else causing Mello's pleasure, I couldn't help but imagine it as me on top of him. I imagined him gasping my name as I gave him everything he really wanted. Me being the one he would beg to fuck him.  
I pulled myself out of my thoughts to watch as Matt took Mello's length into his mouth. The sound Mello made in response could only be cause by pure ecstasy. I oversaw as Mello's hands reached out, fingers tangling themselves in Matt's dark locks, tugging on it lightly, urging him to take in more.   
All too happily Matt complied, taking in as much of Mello as his gag reflex would allow. I could hear the muffled groan Matt let out from his mouth being so full of Mello's beautiful, thick cock.   
The moment Mello's body realized how beautiful it felt, his own noises increased in volume, filling the room with the sound of his blissful pleasure. His fingers tightening their grip on the soft hair they found placement in, the pulling only making the sweet, beautiful mouth on Mello's cock work harder and the person it belonged to groan louder, causing even more pleasure to the blond. It was the cycle they always went through during nights like this. A circle of pleasure that would only end when Matt had finally cum inside Mello.  
Too soon in both Mello and Matt's opinion, the brunette pulled off. It was only then that I realized I had shoved my fist into my mouth to silence myself and keep them from becoming aware of my presence.  
I turned my attention back to the scene in front of me in time to see Matt finish rummaging through a bedside drawer and pull out a bottle of lube. The small click of the cap being opened was drowned out by the panting coming from Mello. Even from my hiding spot in the closet, I could see the lust in his eyes. I could hear the need and want in every breath he took.  
Matt squirted some of the gel like into his hand, before coating a few fingers with the stuff. Carefully, he pushed Mello's legs back before pressing a finger to his entrance.  
The gasp that escaped from Mello's lips was sharp and surprised. His gaze never wavering from the man that kneeled above him.   
Slowly, Matt started working his finger in and out of Mello's tight hole, stretching him and preparing him for what's to come.  
"Damn, Mihael," Matt groaned, thought clearly not bothered, "No matter how much we do this, you're always so tight."   
Mello just moaned softly in response, bucking his hips slightly in a silent plea for Matt to give him more.   
Matt submitted to his request, adding in a second finger. When he was sure Mello was adjusted to the slight increase in size, he scissored his fingers, opening Mello's hole further.   
The sounds Mello made in response to the pleasurable treatment from Matt almost made me cum in my pants just from listening. Just from listening, I could imagine it being me he loved. Being me who did this to him. I wanted it to be me. No. It needed to be me.   
When I looked back to what they we're doing, Matt was already three fingers deep into Mello's greedy hole.   
It took everything in me to not to grab my own cock and jack off to the beautiful sounds Mello made, but I refrained. I focused my attention on the scene that was still playing before me.  
Matt had pulled his fingers out and was positioned, ready to go in. The moment he pushed in, Mello moaned out. The name on his tongue burnt like fire when it reached my ears. I ignored it though. Instead focusing on the smooth, steady rhythm Matt seemed to know by heart.   
I knew that towards the end of it Mello would be begging for him to go faster, but I couldn't help but become mesmerized by the sight of Mello rocking back and forth to the rhythm he was stuck in.  
In what only felt like a few second, Mello was shouting incoherent words and sentences as he release came over him.   
Seeing Mello in such a state was so beautiful. Nothing could ever top how beautiful he looked in that moment.  
After a moment of continued movement, Matt froze. Panting as he pulled out, he collapsed next to his lover, arm wrapping over the familiar body next to him.  
Slowly, the room started going quiet as the two men caught their breath. The growing silence seared against my already burning ears, the knowledge of what they did then and what they're now. Everything inside felt like it was on fire.   
That should be me. I should be the one who holds him close every night. It should be my name that comes out of his mouth every other night. It should all be me. Matt doesn't love Mello the way I do. Mello should be mine.   
This is all Matt's fault. He just had to steal my Mello from me. He knew that Mello should be mine. He knows. He's just too selfish to give Mello up. Mello didn't deserve someone so selfish. He deserved someone who would do anything for him. He deserves me.  
With that thought, I stood up, hand pressing against the cool wood of the closet door. The lights had gone out mere moments before, so the only light of the room was coming from the street lamps outside, bathing the room with a dim, yellow glow.   
Slowly, I pushed on the wood, making my way into the room. Usually, I would wait until I was certain they were asleep, but tonight, I wanted them to know I was there.   
When he heard the creaking of hinges, Mello turned towards the door, pushing himself closer to Matt in the process, most likely prepared to call it off as a false alarm and sleep in the warm heat of his lover's arms.   
Only one thing stood in his way, and that was me. There I was, standing right in plain sight of the man I love. His eyes widened when he registered the sight in front of him.  
In mere seconds, his instincts kicked in, and he was forcing himself into a sitting position and pushing both himself and his husband back toward the further side of the bed.   
The force of Mello's desperation to get away from the potential threat forced Matt awake. I watched as he sat up, arms still wrapped around the blond, clearly ready to sooth him by saying there's nothing here to hurt him. And in truth, I wasn't there to hurt him. Or at least not to hurt Mello.  
As soon as Matt saw me, his hand reached under the pillow, clearly going to pull out the weapon they had been keeping there. Thankfully, I had thought ahead. In an almost taunting manner, I pulled the small handgun out from the waistband of my pants, turning safety off, I pointed it at the worse of the two offenders.  
The fear in Mello's eyes seemed to go straight to my already hard cock. My eyes roamed the sight in front of me. Mello, legs splayed and bent at odd angers from his attempt at escape.  
The moment he saw where I was looking, he closed his legs, bringing them to his chest in an attempt to keep himself from my wandering eyes.   
"What are you doing here?" His voice was steady and demanding. Clearly he was trying to hide the dread he felt when he realized who I was.  
"I've been keeping an eye on you, Mihael." The words felt good when rolling off my tongue, but the best part was calling him by his real name. Mihael. It just felt so perfect. It sounded so right coming out of my mouth. Better than anything Matt could say.  
"Don't call me that," the words had a bite to them, as if their whole intent was to hurt. "I don't need you looking after me."   
At that, I took a step forward, fully aware of the shift back they both took. "If I didn't, then who would, huh?" My hand shook slightly as I took another step closer to the bed. "Him?" I flicked the barrel of the gun in Matt's direction, indicating the man behind my precious Mello. "He hasn't even been there for you when you needed him! I've been there for you! I was there when your mum died! I sent cards! I sent letters! I sent flowers! I kept watch over you all those nights when he was too busy to pay attention to the beautiful man he was lucky enough to have waiting for him! Did he ever really appreciate that? No! He never did!" My voice rose the more I spoke. My anger and frustrations becoming more apparent with each passing moment. I took one more step, making me close enough to touch Mello if I reached out far enough.   
Mello opened his mouth, no doubt preparing to shout some rude insult at me in response, or defend his useless, stupid husband. Just as Mello started to speak, a hand grabbed him from behind. Before either me or Mello could realize what he was doing, Matt shoved Mello behind him in a poor attempt at keeping him safe from me.  
He had no idea how stupid that decision even was. In less than a second, I had the hammer clicked into place. All it would take is pressing my finger into the trigger, and the cause of my pain and distress would be out of my life. Out of Mello's. Maybe when Matt's gone, Mello will realize just how little he needs him. Maybe he'll see that I can do so much more for him. That I can love him more than anyone else.  
With those thoughts in mind, I squeezed. The noise was defining, easily covering the sound of Mello's shout.  
My ears still rang as I watched the body of the young man collapse from it's protective pose.   
The first sound my ears registered when they started functioning properly, was the sound of Mello's shouts. He was shouting for help and for Matt to wake up. In the dim light, I could see the blank eyes staring up at nothing. His eyes still gleamed and glittered, reflecting the small amount of light.  
For the first time since the day Mello left me, I felt a smile tugging at the corners of my lips.   
Finally, the obstacle that kept me from getting my Mello was finally out of the way. I could now have Mello all to myself. He was mine.  
"He was weak. He couldn't protect you anyways. I can though. Mihael, I can protect you better than he ever could. I can provide for you better than he could. I can love you better than he could. I can do anything for you. I love you so much, Mihael." The words poured through my mouth, letting the truth flow into the open air like a much needed breeze. I knew that everything I said was true. That I was meant to be the one Mihael loved. Now he could see it too.  
Slowly, Mello moved forward, arms reaching over to the bed across from Matt's limp, bloodstained body. He lifted himself up, holding his body steady. His eyes never breaking apart from mine.   
The glare he gave me was that of a lioness protecting her cubs, his stance showing the same protectiveness. "You could never love me the way he did," Mihael spat the words out as if the mere thought of speaking to me left a poisonous taste on his tongue. "He loved me more than anything. You don't have the right to say that you love me more than he ever could when you don't love me at all!"   
His voice rose with every word. His anger and sorrow becoming ever more present as the words tumbled out of his mouth. Tears staining his perfect porcelain skin, blue eyes almost glowing in the yellow light of the room.  
Before I could even fully register the words he was saying, he reached forward, pulling something from the crack of the bed frame. There was a flurry of movement, a loud bang and everything went black.   
I opened my eyes. I was still in the apartment, the stale, sweaty air flooding my nostrils as I returned to conscious thought.  
I looked over, and there, sitting on the edge of he bed, notepad in hand, was Mihael. He was scribbling something down, seemingly unaware of the fact that I was still alive.   
I watched him, unsure of whether to make him aware of my presence or not. After a minute, he put the notepad down. Only then did I see the tears in his eyes. Only then did I see the longing look he was giving his husband's lifeless body.   
I watched as Mihael crawled onto the still chest, sobs barely audible. He turned, back facing me and pressed the barrel of the gun to his temple.  
Only one thing could be heard before the ear shattering roar; "I love you, Mail. I'll be with you soon."  
The blood. There was more blood then what I could've ever thought was possible in the human skull. I felt small drops of it wet on my face.   
I couldn't bare standing to see the sight I knew was before me. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping for the dark, warm hands of death to claim my life as well.

I woke up in the hospital several days later. There was a police officer snoring softly in a chair that sat only a few feet away from me. The blinding white light coming from the window forced me to squint as I surveyed my surroundings. The room was simple, and almost completely white. The only thing of interest was a newspaper that sat on the bedside table. Without knowing what I was looking for, I grabbed it.   
Slowly, I flipped through the pages, skimming the articles. Nothing. Like usual.   
Finally I reached one of the last few pages, and that's where I found it. There was an article on the suicide of Mihael Keehl, along with the death of Mail Jeevas and the attempted murder of me. Nate River. I remember staring down at the paper and the black and white pictures. The monochromatic colour scheme didn't do his beautiful face justice, especially if this was the last thing that would be heard from him.

I'm writing this now in the hopes that someday, someone will see it. That they will find it, and see how I wasn't really a bad guy, which is exactly what the court thought. I wanted people to see my side of what happened. I wanted everyone to know, that I lived and breathed for Mihael Keehl. Without him, I mean nothing. If somehow, that newspaper article and what I saw was wrong, and my Mihael is reading this... I'm sorry. But no matter what happens, no matter what we go through, I will always love you. And someday, we will meet again.

Yours truly,  
Nate River.


End file.
